Half a Man (G. Diablo) Here’s an older tune that I recorded in 1987 that attempted to deal with (somewhat humorously) the nagging feeling that I wasn’t living up to my potential. I was nearly 30, was still working at a supermarket after ten years, and my feeling was that my songwriting was improving, but I was going nowhere fast. Throughout my adult life, I’ve always had this feeling of paralysis with finding a true vocation that wasn’t humiliating, and it’s only recently that I connected this obstruction with being abused as a child.
Anyway, this nagging feeling in ‘87 would eventually lead to a spiritual crisis of sorts two years later. I took on another job, saved $9K, and moved out to WA to attend The Evergreen State College in the summer of 1991. Of course, this didn’t lead to any great improvement in my situation in and of itself because I wasn’t striking at the root of the problem, and, ironies of ironies, I now clean the toilets at this stalwart institution.
Why, you ask? Well, as I got older, I realized I’d better get a state job just to have health insurance and paid holidays. In 2005, I was working at a health club called The Valley for $8 an hour and nothing else, so TESC was definitely a step up in September of 2006. Four and a half years later, however, another spiritual crisis is looming at age 52.
Half a man? Probably down to a third at this stage.
One final note; the slide guitar on this track is played by a friend named Brian Kloby who now teaches music and guitar and performs in St. Petersberg, FL (www.briankloby.com). His brother John and I used to jam in my old bedroom in Brick, NJ, much to the annoyance of my brother Carl.